Critical Notes

Chef Gordon Ramsay ran Josh out of Hell’s Kitchen, while Julia was sent home in a difficult elimination. (Courtesy Fox)

Tonight’s episode of Hell’s Kitchen started with a high school cafeteria cook off. Judged by students each of the chefs had to come up with a dish and slop out 100 portions of it.

Here’s what each person decided to cook:

Rock: kobe beef meatloaf

Josh: salmon with pineapple salsa

Jen: chicken pasta with a lemon aioli

Bonnie: green salad with hunk of deep fried goat cheese

Julia: grilled cheese with deep fried onion rings

Who, pray tell… who, gentle reader, could possibly have won this competition? Which of these fine dishes best appeals to the subtle and refined palate of the average teenager?

If you can’t figure it out I’m not telling you.

Then, after a brief interlude we like to call “Adventures with Bidets in Las Vegas”, it was back to Hell’s Kitchen for the dinner service. With the chefs united as one team they managed to pull together to produce a real crap-fest. The leading man in the debacle was Josh.

Josh insisted on precooking all the pasta despite Chef Ramsay repeatedly reminding him that all pasta was to be made-to-order. Then Josh undercooked all of the risottos and Ramsay lost his freaking mind.

“Get your shirt off you useless piece of shit!” he said as he threw Josh out of the kitchen and off the show for good.

But the heat was still on for the four remaining as the pressure caught up to them and Rock started snapping at Jen. Bonnie chipped in and it turned into a giant bitch-fest that once again set Ramsay off. But since he’d blown his load with Josh’s demolition he only yelled once and couldn’t summon the energy to choke anyone to death, as we all know he would’ve liked to.

After service Bonnie was dubbed Chef du Jour and given authority to put two other chefs up for elimination. Since Rock had pissed her off during service he realised he would be a candidate for getting the boot and so he cried on camera. We at the Beat took a poll and were unanimous in labelling Rock a big pussy.

Bonnie’s second nomination was Julia for some B.S. reasons which didn’t include the real reason that she and Jen are buddies.

Despite Rock’s horrible habit of referring to himself in the third person, Julia got the axe. But Ramsay seemed genuinely tortured by the decision and even promised to personally send Julia to culinary school.

“She is the most improved chef here,” Ramsay said, obviously impressed by the short-order cook’s ability to adapt in his demonic kitchen.

Which left the final three Rock, Jen and Bonnie, to battle it out in the next episode to decide who the two finalists will be.

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